i told myself i would stop caring, and to be honest ive been okay..
i stopped letting the little things bother me and told myself that you’re happier now.
your Facebook statuses used to make me sad and i would be upset after reading them and cried because i wasnt apart of your life anymore..it still stings and trust me it always will.
i cant help but wish that things were back to the way they used to be where we talked all day and hung out all the time.. but its different now we’ve moved on (well at least you) and i know you’re happier with her.
if it meant your happiness i would have let you go everytime. im in a better place i will always cherish our times together.. its bittersweet but im glad to have known you then to not at all.

Wishing someone was with you right at this moment.

My diabetes is taking control of me, i dont care anymore if i fucking die, ive struggled for 12 YEARS with this bullshit, im done trying to live for myself because my diabetes has taken over and is ripping me apart.. the only way i feel like i have control is when i know i have someone who actually cares about me and wants to be in my life cus my parents stopped long ago caring if i tested or gave my shot before i ate…im in it alone and thats when this fucking disease laughs in my face and defeats me.. i have no control of my blood sugars anymore im always fatigued, this son of a bitch even led to me to be fucking depressed… fuck all of those doctors who told me this isnt a death sentence and its managable, APPARENTLY NOT. im scared every day of my life that im going to DIE.. i dont want to get married because i know i will die before me and him will pay off our house..go on vacations and eat at every restaurant, i wont be there to rock in rocking chairs on our porch while we read and sip tea..you wanna know why? ILL BE FUCKING 6 FEET UNDER GROUND THATS WHY. this disease is the reason why im so cynical and i dont love my hardest.. im not going to make it and it kills me knowing how many GREAT FUCKING people im going to leave..i am a normal person stuck in a diabetics body..this was not meant for me…