fuck my job. i HATE working there. seriously they give me 4 hours a week and expect me to finish everything.. im so…SO done with my job its time for a new job. not to mention customers suck and they are rude as fuck. i pray that ill get out of that shithole and find a job i enjoy :(
maybe i like the feeling of not giving my insulin shot.. ive grown so accustomed to it that giving my shot doesnt feel right.. my body is always high and it feels funny when its any lower than 300. diabulima, you have won.
Im tired of all the insinuations, im tired of hearing that I havent changed, and im DEFINTELY tired of people telling me what to do.
Theres always that one night were you feel like the whole world is agaisnt you…ignored texts,fowarded calls,arguments with the ones you love…all when you need those people the most.
My diabetes is taking control of me, i dont care anymore if i fucking die, ive struggled for 12 YEARS with this bullshit, im done trying to live for myself because my diabetes has taken over and is ripping me apart.. the only way i feel like i have control is when i know i have someone who actually cares about me and wants to be in my life cus my parents stopped long ago caring if i tested or gave my shot before i ate…im in it alone and thats when this fucking disease laughs in my face and defeats me.. i have no control of my blood sugars anymore im always fatigued, this son of a bitch even led to me to be fucking depressed… fuck all of those doctors who told me this isnt a death sentence and its managable, APPARENTLY NOT. im scared every day of my life that im going to DIE.. i dont want to get married because i know i will die before me and him will pay off our house..go on vacations and eat at every restaurant, i wont be there to rock in rocking chairs on our porch while we read and sip tea..you wanna know why? ILL BE FUCKING 6 FEET UNDER GROUND THATS WHY. this disease is the reason why im so cynical and i dont love my hardest.. im not going to make it and it kills me knowing how many GREAT FUCKING people im going to leave..i am a normal person stuck in a diabetics body..this was not meant for me…
Fuck im so pissed, my mom tried to drive us home drunk while my dad was puking and she wouldnt let me drive -,- alright, lets be smart & fuckin do that. And when I tried to tell her she was very irresponsible, she fuckin yelled at me?! Alright drunk bitch.
I’m not gonna bitch anymore at you cus apparently your right.
Its a shitty feeling when your up and you realize your completely alone. Your thoughts begin to unravel… && this is what you come up with.
You have no one to send a cute text to if your thinking of them. You have no one to wake up to their text. You have no one to call when your bored out of your fucking mind just to tell them the little things that went on during your day. You have no one to tell your deepest feeelings without feeling stupid after. You have no one to share your triumphs nor your failures. You have no one to shop for on the holidays and at midnight on new years, OH JOY you get to see all the wonderful FUCKING couples kiss into the new year. You dont have anyone to call you beautiful, or to compliment how your hair looks. You dont have someone in your life that when you are around them, you can just simply see all of the love they have for you. You have no one to notice the cute or notable things you do.
what hurts the most is knowing you have someone there who is capable of doing all of these things, but your still fucking alone.
You have someone and they completely dont even show you they care. Just because they are around, they feel that thats all they have to do.
The decision is clear, I can find someone who treats me the right way;
sometimes youd rather keep what you have then risk being alone..
My blood sugar is so high right now that I feeel drunk. I’m literally falling over & I have blurry vision…. Fml.