ive been in sort of a depressed mood this whole nightt.
you ask why? it’s because i’m single and alone. Everyone in my life has a love in their life; they come to me and tell me, “ugh he/she did this and i hate them la la la.”
AT LEAST YOUR NOT FUCKING ALONE.
I haven’t had a boyfriend in over 2 years, and it sucks. I’ve become this person who would rather be on my own then try and look for someone who is worth it and give my all to. Love is a joke, you fall so hard, you make amazing memories, and like that, IT’S OVER. or the honeymoon phase is over and you fight all the FUCKING time. or maybe that’s how we’ve all been socialized to believe, that we should stay with people because we “love” them and they piss us off but there is still love. honestly, i could give 2 shits, i want someone to always make me happy and I know it’s not impossible, I’m an extremely easy going person and it doesn’t take a lot to make me mad. Its getting to the point where i just dont care if i find someone or not. im gonna stop looking and let it come to me i guess.
All the people in my life I try to be there for in their time of need totally BLOW me off, and eventually always run back and beg me to forgive them.
So today my stupid ex put on fb that he really needed to talk to someone cus he felt like killing himself, so i texted him and told him l know we went thru ups and downs and that i’m here for him„ and of course he didn’t reply back. ALRIGHT THEN, i fucking tried so don’t tell me that i’m never there for you.
i LOVE the people in my life who are a constant, who understand me and don’t judge me for being ME. thank you to the two people in my life i can honestly say i’d DIE for, Victoria Hernandez and Richard Caldera. You guys already know how much i love you.
i know im a little all over the place with this blog but fuck it.
I love it when people are affectionate with me. I like when they always invite me places, or text me, or call me, I wouldn’t even mind if they blew up my fb wall with hearts and what not. I would rather have that person than someone who makes me text them first all the time and replies back like 10 hours later.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve felt more emotions towards a fictional character than I do towards people I know in real life, I would probably have enough money to pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need.